Giving Birth to Ourselves

Lately I have a lot of energy churning. I recognize this and know that it must be channeled through action, but I often get confused as to what action that should be. What should I do? This is often a question I find myself asking. Only when I get still do I realize that the answer is as plain as the nose on my face...Create. When I say create I don't only mean paint a painting, I also mean create something, anything new, bring something into existence. While thinking about this today, I thought of my life now and the friends I know who are in the same spot as me. We have young children, but our youngest have either just started school or are starting soon. The pressure builds to answer this question of what should I do now? It dawned on me that we are all creators, longing to create, longing to channel and express this creative energy. The problem is that we don't see ourselves this way. Somewhere along the way were told, you are not an artist or we thought this ourselves when we compared our creations to someone elses. Unfortunately being an artist falls into the category of creative being and therefore we cannot be either since we like to categorize and put ourselves in boxes. It is a lie that we are not creative because we create every day. We create in many different ways.

Going back to my thoughts on mothers with young children in or starting school...This is a time of transition, a time of shifting. We are not taught in this culture to reflect on or to sit still in times of transitions. We are taught to hold on for dear life and squeeze as hard as we can, hence anxiety and stress. This brings me to pregnancy. When a woman becomes pregnant she has to wait over 9 (sometimes 10 in my case) months to actually hold her baby in her arms. That is the beauty of the experience and we cannot control that. We must wait and let our baby grow until they are ready to be born. Can it be this way for ideas? Can we accept the cycles and allow our lives to flow and evolve and when the time is right, allow birth to happen? Can we give birth to ourselves?  Can we give ourselves permission to do that? Wouldn't it be a beautiful thing if we cared for this potential the way we care for those outside ourselves. There are so many cycles in our lives and each contains a birth process. I am sharing these thoughts because they are on my mind. We were born to create in whatever way feels right. It is my desire to let the energy flow, be still when I feel called to do that and bring the light of regeneration and birth when the time is right.



I love art and I love creative living. Just because I love these things, doesn't mean it's easy. Because art and creative living are so deeply embedded in my need to feel joy, I have to break through some challenging blocks to stay connected rather than just remaining in my comfort zone and hiding away in frustration and anger. Sometimes I'm sailing through like a boat on calm seas and other times I hit a storm and have to make my way through instead of turning around and going back the way I know, with my tail between my legs. Getting through the storm means that I have to employ some new skills because each storm may be different.  When we face challenges often we go into auto pilot, reverting back to our old patterns and relying on our old solutions which may not be what we need now to get to the next level of our lives, or as I am saying here "the current storm". Lately I have been coming face to face with old patterning. If it weren't for this work I love so much, I might turn my back on growth but now, that just isn't an option. I'm in it for the long haul. There's a sort of thrill in surrender to the unknown. There's a power that comes in knowing that I can handle it. I'll get through the storm and come out the other end wiser and more self reliant and resilient. This is what the journey is about to me. Growth. I know that at my age in some ways I'm just beginning a new, and I am very grateful.